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第一屆 CodeTengu 一句話笑話比賽 #23

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vinta opened this issue Oct 11, 2015 · 40 comments
Closed

第一屆 CodeTengu 一句話笑話比賽 #23

vinta opened this issue Oct 11, 2015 · 40 comments

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@vinta
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vinta commented Oct 11, 2015

大家都知道咱們 CodeTengu Weekly 每一期的標題都是一句玩笑話,但是因為最近已經快把庫存的笑話用完了,地方的 CodeTengu 需要幫助,遂決定舉辦「第一屆 CodeTengu 一句話笑話比賽」!不然哪天笑話用完了,CodeTengu Weekly 就要停刊了。

最好是一句話就可以表達的程序員笑話,畢竟是要拿來當 weekly 標題的。

以下開放投稿!

@vinta vinta added the weekly label Oct 11, 2015
@wancw
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wancw commented Oct 11, 2015

「聖誕節要到了」放 10/26 那期?

@saiday
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saiday commented Oct 11, 2015

是 Oct(31) = Dec(25) 那個笑話嗎,好高端哦!

On Monday, October 12, 2015, wancw notifications@github.com wrote:

「聖誕節要到了」放 10/26 那期?


Reply to this email directly or view it on GitHub
#23 (comment)
.

@wancw
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wancw commented Oct 11, 2015

每年都要講一次的老哏,我已經毫無創意了。

是說,前陣子在《知乎日報》看到一則巴別塔的程式語言版感覺還不錯。

@vinta
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vinta commented Oct 11, 2015

最近看到一個最好笑的:

如果 Java 真的有 Garbage Collection 的話,大部份的程式應該在剛開始執行的時候就把自己給回收了

@tzangms
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tzangms commented Oct 12, 2015

哈哈哈 這個有點強

@kkc
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kkc commented Oct 14, 2015

提供一個前公司的 Bot 常講的笑話:

程式設計師最討厭康熙的哪個兒子? 答:胤禩。因為他是八阿哥

@saiday
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saiday commented Oct 18, 2015

If you give a person a program, you'll frustrate him for a day. If you teach a person to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime!

@vinta
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vinta commented Oct 18, 2015

@fukuball
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強耶,討論串一堆笑話!

@JuanitoFatas
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CSS Puns & CSS Jokes

@vinta vinta changed the title 徵求程序員笑話 第一屆 CodeTengu 一句話笑話比賽 Dec 9, 2015
@FrankNine
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@FrankNine
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QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv.
Source: https://twitter.com/sempf/status/514473420277694465

@abookyun
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abookyun commented Dec 9, 2015

世界上只有 10 種人,一種是懂 binary 的另一種不懂。

原文:"There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

出處:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematical_joke

@RenCheng0525
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Programs = Algorithms + Data Structures + (Bugs + Tears)

@fkztw
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fkztw commented Dec 9, 2015

https://github.com/pyjokes/pyjokes/blob/master/pyjokes/jokes_en.py

前陣子看到的 我覺得裏面蠻多都還不錯
隨便貼幾個然後順手翻譯一下,翻譯不到位的話請見諒


  • How do you generate a random string? Put a first year Computer Science student in Vim and ask them to save and exit.
  • 「如何產生一個隨機字串?打開 Vim,叫一個大一資工系學生儲存檔案後離開。」

  • Triumphantly, Beth removed Python 2.7 from her server in 2020. 'Finally!' she said with glee, only to see the announcement for Python 4.4.
  • 「『終於!』2020年,Beth 成功從她的伺服器上去除了 Python 2.7 後,難掩興奮得脫口而出。然後她看見了 Python 4.4 即將發佈的消息...」

  • If you play a Windows CD backwards, you'll hear satanic chanting ... worse still, if you play it forwards, it installs Windows.
  • 「如果你把一片 Windows 光碟倒著播放,你會聽到撒旦之歌。但更恐怖的是,如果你正常播放它,它會安裝 Windows 在你電腦上。」

  • 'Knock, knock.' 'Who's there?' ... very long pause ... 'Java.'
  • 「『叩叩叩!』『是誰?』(過了很長一段時間)『Java。』」

  • Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
  • 「軟體工程師喜歡解決問題,如果手邊沒有問題可以解決的話,他們會為自己製造問題。」

  • .NET was named .NET so that it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.
  • 「.NET 之所以命名為 .NET 是因為這樣它就不會出現在 Unix ls 指令的結果中。」

  • Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.
  • 「硬體:電腦的組成中,你可以用腳踹的部份。」

  • In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.
  • 「在 C 裡,我們必須自己寫 bug;在 C++ 裡,我們可以直接繼承 bug。」(好方便啊!)

  • How come there is not obfuscated Perl contest? Because everyone would win.
  • 「為什麼 Perl 沒有代碼混淆比賽?因為每位參賽者都會是贏家。」

  • How many programmers does it take to kill a cockroach? Two: one holds, the other installs Windows on it.
  • 「需要幾個程式設計師才能殺掉一隻蟑螂?『兩個。』一個抓住蟑螂,另一個在蟑螂身上安裝 Windows。」

  • If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl.
  • 「如果你把一百萬隻猴子放在一百萬把鍵盤上,其中一隻猴子最終會寫出 Java 程式碼,其餘的則會寫出 Perl 程式碼。」

應該夠用一陣子了?

想要自己笑一笑的就 pip install pyjokespip3 install pyjokes
裝完後直接打 pyjoke 就會隨機顯示一則笑話了
蠻適合放在 motd 的XD

裏面有提到笑話的來源是這篇 http://stackoverflow.com/questions/234075/what-is-your-best-programmer-joke

@vinta
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vinta commented Dec 9, 2015

@M157q 哈哈哈哈哈這些好!

@tzangms
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tzangms commented Dec 9, 2015

@M157q 這個強!

@fukuball
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fukuball commented Dec 9, 2015

酷耶~

@kkc
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kkc commented Dec 9, 2015

@M157q pyjokes 好厲害啊!

@puff-tw
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puff-tw commented Dec 10, 2015

我認為一年一度的員工建康檢查,根本是找工作的重要參考指標,另一項是,Steam 的遊玩時數,恰好可以說明 work life balance 的重要依據啊!!

@sexyoung
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昨天感冒又拉肚子晚上失眠又想吐,結果今天早上起床寫個code全都好了耶

@fkztw
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fkztw commented Dec 10, 2015

"Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic
「Perl:唯一一個經過 RSA 加密前後看起來一模一樣的語言。」

ref: http://www.junauza.com/2010/12/top-50-programming-quotes-of-all-time.html

@fkztw
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fkztw commented Dec 10, 2015

“In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg.” (Bjarne Stroustrup)
「在 C++ 中,你沒那麼容易射傷自己的腳,但要是你不小心這麼做了,你會炸掉整條腿。」(C++ 之父 Bjarne Stroustrup)

ref: http://www.devtopics.com/101-great-computer-programming-quotes/


完整原文是這句

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off."

ref: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bjarne_Stroustrup

@genxstylez
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強強的!

@fukuball
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Perl 也被酸得太厲害~

@fkztw
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fkztw commented Dec 13, 2015

"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works."
「有兩種方法可以寫出沒有錯誤的程式,但只有第三種方法有效。」

@bcse
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bcse commented Dec 25, 2015

"Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
A: Inheritance
「如何以物件導向的方式變得富有?」答:「繼承。」

@kevingo
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kevingo commented Feb 1, 2016

pyjokes 好讚 XD

@Po-Jen
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Po-Jen commented Feb 3, 2016

「眾裡尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在軟體開發部。」

@cosmtrek
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cosmtrek commented Feb 3, 2016

@Po-Jen 哈哈。

@ccc-larc
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ccc-larc commented Feb 5, 2016

(尚未徵得作者同意)
來源:https://twitter.com/panda_extral/status/695442044429307907

batman 用什么电脑?
当然是 windows
因为用了 Mac 他就要改名叫 bashman 了。

@theJian
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theJian commented Feb 20, 2016

c = ( a != b ) ? a : b;

@mingderwang
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@uranusjr
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我在星期五下班前 deploy 花了一週完成的程式 #然後它就死掉了

@fukuball
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很多网站的登录界面上都有一句诗:记住我 忘记密码

@fukuball
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技術教學或分享也是一種劇透,而且通常不會有人說「你雷到我了!」

@kkdai
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kkdai commented May 12, 2016

最近的技術時事梗: 「Swift 從入門到重學,到又要重學。」

@uranusjr
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In case of fire:

  1. git commit
  2. git push
  3. leave building

https://github.com/qw3rtman/git-fire

@vinta vinta removed the weekly label May 12, 2016
@fukuball
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fukuball commented Jul 1, 2016

「這樣不就是在解技術債的時候還欠技術債嗎」
「你看過大賣空嗎,這就是技術債的技術債,算是一種衍生性技術債」

@uranusjr
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uranusjr commented Jan 2, 2017

除錯就像是推理劇,你擔任偵探主角,同時也是兇手。

@vinta vinta closed this as completed May 15, 2017
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